Emotion · Sadness family
Hurt
noun
Emotional pain caused by someone’s words or actions, especially someone whose opinion matters to you.
How it shows up in the body
A sting in the chest, a lump in the throat, wanting to curl up, sudden tears or a flash of anger.
What it is telling you
Something tender was touched. Hurt is often the first feeling; anger is the bodyguard that shows up right after.
The urge — and the choice
To hurt back or pretend it didn’t land. The choice is to say that it hurt.
One thing to try
Before you respond, ask yourself, “Am I angry, or am I hurt?” Lead with the true one.
Practice it: I-statements.
Words you can use
That hurt. I want to tell you why, because this relationship matters to me.
Read more: Emotional expression
