Emotion · Anger family
Anger
noun
A protective surge of energy that rises when you sense a boundary has been crossed, a need is blocked, or something is unfair.
How it shows up in the body
Heat in the face and neck, a tight jaw, clenched hands, a faster heartbeat, and a forward lean — your body getting ready to push.
What it is telling you
Something you value is being threatened or ignored. Anger often stands guard in front of softer feelings like hurt, fear or embarrassment.
The urge — and the choice
To strike back, raise your voice or shut the other person down. The choice is to use the energy to name the boundary instead of attacking the person.
One thing to try
Ask: what was crossed? Then finish the sentence “What I need right now is…” before you say anything else.
Practice it: The pause.
Words you can use
I’m angry, and I don’t want to say something I can’t take back. Give me ten minutes and I’ll come back to this.
Read more: Emotional regulation
