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Repair conversation

By Samual Nathaniel Brown Last reviewed 2026-10-25 2 min read

A repair conversation reconnects after conflict or harm. Relationships are not defined by never rupturing; they are defined by repair.

Five steps

  1. Own it. "I raised my voice at you yesterday."
  2. Name the impact. "I think that made you feel disrespected and maybe scared."
  3. Share what was going on, without excusing it. "I was overwhelmed about money. That's not your fault."
  4. Ask what they need. "What would help?"
  5. Commit. "Next time I'll take a pause before I respond."

Tips

Wait until both people are below a 5 out of 10. Don't say "but." Repair is also the heart of restorative justice in the Theory of Emotional Illiteracy-Based Criminality (TEIBC).

Put this into practice

Community Start a 10P circle Community-led spaces to practice healing, accountability and connection. We help you launch and hold one. Start a circle chapter

See also

Cite this entry: Samual Nathaniel Brown. “Repair conversation.” The Emotional Literacy Encyclopedia, 10P Program, 2026-10-25. https://emotionalliteracy.org/tools/repair-conversation/

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